Reflections from our Writing Retreat attendees - 2023
Having a goal kept me focus
Francesca Musgrave, PhD Researcher, University of Worcester
Francesca was awarded one of our Writing Retreat bursaries (Sponsored by the RGS) in 2023. This are her reflections.
In July 2023, I attended a weeklong writing retreat in the Cotswolds with the GCYFRG. The week followed a structured approach, where each day oscillated between scheduled writing time slots and breaks. I followed the structured approach, as set out by the retreat organisers, for the first few days, after which I decided to return to my preferred way of working, that is, using the Pomodoro technique. I really enjoyed the flexibility we have to do work in the way we preferred. I incorporated this into the established structured writing sessions, which meant that I had more frequent breaks to suite my individual needs.
In these breaks we took part in Qi Gong delivered by one attendee, tried our hand at pool, and had somewhat competitive games of Uno! The breaks and free time activities were great opportunities to regenerate, socialise and talk about things other than our work, after which we resumed our work and focused on our goals.
The location of the retreat was fantastic, we had incredible, and calming views of the Cotswold hills, plenty of local footpaths and the sound of nature to accompany it all. The venue had plenty of spaces for us to work. We used a large conference style room for longer structured study sessions, where silence and absence of distractions was guaranteed. The dining and living rooms were also available for writing and afforded a more relaxed and flexible style of environment. I used a mixture of locations which I found beneficial, as some days I felt more productive in the silent conference room, whilst other days needed opportunities to move around more during my breaks.
Towards the end of writing retreat, I spent some time with others reflecting on achieving our respective goals. Although I did not reach my goal, along with others we decided that spending more time developing several smaller goals would have been more realistic than setting one or two larger goals. Nevertheless, having a goal kept me focused and the retreat’s structure kept me writing and I came away feeling happy with what I had achieved.
It’s been noted that those “who best incorporated retreat methods into their writing lives, did so, in part, by attending more than one retreat”. Therefore, I’ll be keeping a look out for more writing retreats in the future!
The thesis is not a conclusion but a journey of self-discovery.
Catherine Murray, PhD Researcher, Trinity College Dublin - @CaitMurray5 Catherine was awarded one of our Writing Retreat bursaries in 2023 (Sponsored by the RGS). This are her reflections.
I began the PhD with uncertainty, and as I entered the world of academia once again, after having been in industry for quite some time, I felt out of my depth. It is fair to say imposter syndrome was at the fore. I was challenged to juggle full-time work with thesis writing, which had developed into a foreboding fear, demand avoidance and a sense of isolation. I found the opportunity to retreat and gain an understanding of comradery; indeed, I was provided with that and more.
Delighted to have received a place on the writing retreat, I arrived energised, having travelled directly from the University of Porto, where I had attended the ECER EERA Summer School. It provided an excellent networking opportunity but, most importantly, a chance to converse and learn from peers on a topic pertinent to us all: participatory research methods.
I was welcomed to the writing retreat with open arms and enjoyed an excellent dinner! Whilst there was more food than we had a chance to consume, we did try our best. Throughout the week, I was inspired by PhDs, doctors, and professors at various stages in their careers, and I found my voice and direction within my work. Fear and anxiety gave way to a growing sense of accomplishment in "little wins' ', and a sense of belief that I could and very much was a PhD researcher capable of writing and managing a project. I have met peers I am still in contact with and have memories that will last a lifetime. Most importantly, the retreat helped me realise I have the power to navigate the PhD journey in a way that best suits me.
I am so grateful for the opportunity I was gifted and am confident the writing retreat will continue to provide the "something" every lucky attendee can hope for.
Finding the ‘right’ words – reflections on the GCYFRG Writing Retreat 2023
Alice Menzel, 4th year doctoral researcher, University of Birmingham
***I should probably preface this blog posts by saying that, while empirically my research interests are about family/parenting, I am principally an emotional geographer – and I find myself particularly transfixed by anxiety. The emotionality of this post may come across as somewhat exaggerated (though it does capture how I felt) – but fear not, it does have a happy ending! **
Monday – Morning
On the train, heading down to Moreton-in-Marsh for the GCYFR Writing Retreat. I’m excited, but also feel some trepidation.
I’ve spent the last 2 weeks preparing, making sure I have everything planned out so I can focus and just write this week.
My goal? To write a whole empirical chapter of my thesis. In a week. (yes, that’s right).
‘I have to get this chapter written this week’ I think to myself.
Monday - Afternoon
Everyone is in the conference room to do an initial burst of writing for an hour.
I sit down, notes out. The organisers start a timer and….nothing. My mind goes completely blank
My eyes dart, frantically, about the room. Everyone else is typing. Why aren’t I typing?? The taptaptap echoes around the room. It is deafening.
‘Okay, stay calm,’ I think to myself. ‘Just write anything. We can fix it later.’
My fingers hover over the keyboard. Just write anythin-
But what if what I write isn’t right?
After the writing time, I retreat quickly to my room
I felt anxious. I felt alone. I felt trapped – quite literally. We were in the middle of nowhere, it wasn’t like I could just get on a train and go home. and if I asked for a lift, or called a taxi, everyone would know I had failed completely at my writing goal.
Monday – Evening
We’ve just finished dinner and clearing up. Everyone is chatting and seem to be doing okay settling in. I feel on the outskirts.
I retreat quietly to my room in the next cottage. I need to do some writing. Maybe if I could just get this introduction sorted then tomorrow I can make a real start.
I sit for several hours going round and around in circles with the same paragraph, the same sentence. It’s just never quite right. I fall quickly into simultaneously writing-and-editing (which any writer knows is never a good thing). I’m too afraid to delete anything I’ve actually managed to write – in case I realise later it’s worth keeping, so I end up with multiple versions of the same paragraph. Over and over. The track changes are so complicated and confusing, looking at my screen is disorientating.
But it’s better than a blank page …right?
I eventually run out of steam. It’s not really late or anything, but am not at all happy with how much I’ve done. The introduction isn’t even done yet. I reconcile with myself that I’ll have to get up early and finish it in the morning and then the real writing can begin.
Tuesday – Morning
So continued Day 2 of the retreat – frantically trying to write anything but hating everything.
I stay in my room. I don’t talk to anyone.
I try throwing myself into write any part – any part – of the chapter, but every time I start, anywhere I start, I feel unprepared and unfocused. I feel crippled by the anxiety. Nothing I write is good enough.
I try again. Still nothing.
Why can’t I just write !!!
Tuesday – Early Afternoon
I hear some of the girls in my cottage downstairs. (They’re from a range of career stages – another PhD student, a post-doc and a senior lecturer from the States).
I eventually pluck up the courage to go and join them (just for a cup of tea, I tell myself. Just to reset)
They kindly ask how I’m doing
I confess things are not going well.
I can feel that I am close to tears, but I can’t let them see me cry.
They sit with me for the next hour – there are hugs, cups of tea, snacks and so many kind words. They listen to me as I try to articulate what I’m trying to write about. They give me the encouragement that I do know what I’m talking about – I just have to put these into words on a page
With those words, the dread returns – but we’re not done.
They share their strategies for overcoming writer’s block, or how to think about writing differently. In a way that makes it less scary. Less absolutely terrifying.
‘Tell yourself why this matters and why you’re excited to write this chapter. Or, better yet, don’t write a chapter of your thesis’, Alexis says, ‘write the story of your participants.’
Something about this just clicks with me; the words are somehow just so right.
Tuesday – Late Afternoon
I write these words at the top of my page – a new page, the mess I’ve produced over the last 24 hours has been dropped several pages down, so it’s still there if I need it, but what’s in front of me is clean and clear. I complete the words with a smiling super chilled out emoji 😊 to help keep the anxiety and dread of writing safely at bay
Writing is still difficult – there are many times where I start to feel confusing and as though I’m about to start to go round in circles. But when I do, I glance at these words at the top of my page and think ‘is this a fair reflection of my participants’ experiences? Yes – then it’s fine! It’s good enough for now’
---------------- Reflections --------------
The rest of the writing retreat went much better after that.
I even managed to make it back into the dreaded conference room (on Wednesday morning, we started by sharing who/what we were thankful for to do with our research – which again, helped immensely in just slightly shifting to a more positive tone, and alleviating the feel of the intensity of the writing space).
I regret the time I ‘wasted’ over the first two days, not just in terms of the productivity of writing, but also the missed opportunities to chat with an hang out with other people because I felt so bad about how little I had done. But things did come together.
My experiences of the writing retreat was filled with highs and lows, but overall I look back on it as a positive experience.
In hindsight, my goal was (stupidly) overly-ambitious. Who writes a whole empirical chapter of their thesis in one week and gets it right????? Not only that, but this was also, in hindsight, the most complicated chapter of my thesis.
I put so much pressure on writing that I almost didn’t get any done at all!
For me, the most valuable thing about being given a bursary-place on the retreat, ironically, wasn’t the writing (the time, space, and quiet for it). It was the amazing people I met, who rallied around me when I felt lost and scared. I will forever be deeply indebted to those amazing, lovely people !
Shout out to Alexis, whose kind words completely changed my view of writing – and to others, whose kindness I have acknowledged in my thesis
In the end this chapter took me several months to completely draft out – and ended up around 26,000 word by the time I was done (which was somehow reduced down to more like half of that for the final draft….)
A lot of what I wrote at that 2023 writing retreat did actually make it into the final version of my thesis, and although it was the most difficult chapter, it ended up being the one I am most proud of.
As I write this a year later*, having recently been on the 2024 writing retreat – which I thoroughly enjoyed and, again, met so many amazing people – I am immensely grateful to the Geographies of Children, Youth and Family Research Group for the opportunity to attend in 2023, and for continuing to offer the retreat in the coming years.
See you at the GCYFRG Writing Retreat in 2025!
*a class case of writing procrastination, which I am now making up for!